Recording 9/9 Transcript

I've been around for awhile now, you know? While you've been... indisposed? Stuck in the darkness? I've been busy. I operate in the shadows. Not always literally, you understand. I'm a little more... resilient than those I've taken. But I do my best work in the dark.

(moving away from recorder, deep sigh)
(increasingly manic) And there's so much darkness out there! And it goes deeeep and the things that live in it are vaaast, BIG bastards!

(sighs, recovering)
They don't mind getting a little bit of elbow room! (sigh) All that chaos and madness, it doesn't really do that much down there! It's like pouring a glass of water into the ocean, right?
(shift of fabric)
But up here? Yeeeaaah. You can really make an impact.
(bed creaks as he sits)
(sighs)

All they need is someone to bring them all the way through. But first? I had to take care of you. You party-pooper. You're stuck in an eternal cycle now. The sun's never coming up for you.
(bed creaks as he gets up)

Everything else? Doin' my thing? Getting a bit of quality time with Alice?
(imitates Hannibal Lecter, sucking in through his teeth)
That's a little something for me. And I deserve it.

Recording 8/9 Transcript

This is what you look like. Does that bother you? I bet it does. (sigh) I'm not just wearing your face, you know, I goes a lot deeper than that. There's aloooootta you in me- all the best parts.

At first, I was just an idea... but they kept telling all those stories about you. You already had that rep. (chair creaks) And then you disappeared mysteriously... and then the stories about baaad, crazy Alan Wake came true... and here I am! That's the best part, isn't it? When that happens! You can always count on Cauldron Lake.

(sigh)
(chair creaks)
(footsteps away from the recorder)
I'm just as real as you are... and I'm the improved version! No fears, no doubt, no weaknesses, no self deceptions here. I don't let anything drag me down!

(footsteps towards the recorder again)
I know you like I know myself. I know it bothers you that I'm like this, that I use your name, crawl my way into your life. But I only do it because... I'm better at being you than you EVER were!
(footsteps recede)

Recording 7/9 Transcript

So I've been thinking about Barry. I don't know what to do about him yet. I mean, I'm not going to keep him around, that's for sure. (abrasive tone) "Al! AL!" (disgusted) Uhg! Little parasite! Your best friend. (criticising) Reeeeeaaaally. That's the best you can do?

(muffled sound of dog barking)
(clink of ice in glass)
I actually kind of like the guy. (mocking baby talk) He's a plucky little butterball. (normal voice) He plays the clown, that's a hard road to take. Hmph. (angrily, getting closer to the recorder) But I don't need him sticking his fffat ffface in my business.

(retreats, sighs heavily)
Did you know he's been hanging out with the sheriff? From that shitty little town? They keep in touch. Barry's about the only guy who insists that you're not dead. How about that.

(sigh)
(muffled sound of dog barking)
(shift of fabric)
(chair creaks)
(sighs again)

I might keep him alive for awhile.
(pause, scoff)
Just to see him go to pieces when I fire his ass!
(laughs)
eeyeeeah. eeyup.
(sips drink, swallows)
yeaaaaaah.
(amused huff)

Recording 6/9 Transcript

I wanna talk about Alice. Just look at her. She's really beautiful, isn't she? Your wife. Well, our wife, really. (soft laugh) Just my wife, soon.
(car alarm goes off in the distance)
Don't worry! I'm not going to treat her like the others. She's special! (car alarm stops) If I wanted her dead, she would be. I've been around for awhile now.

(long pause, then a sigh)
So talented.
(rustle of papers)
You haven't seen her new work, of course. Oh! It takes my breath away. Really! She's that good.

(rumbling/roar noise in the background. large vehicle? wind? it continues periodically until the end of the feed.)
(scoffs)
Did you know that I've got a wedding ring, too? We're that similar! She's seen me a couple times, you know. I've let her catch glimpses. She thinks she's imagining things, of course. She thinks you're dead. You might as well be, I mean, even if you manage to keep surviving, you'll be in my trap forever. So I'll go to her. It'll be an amazing moment.

(falsetto) Oh my god. You're alive!

I'll be the good, loving husband for as long as I can stand it. She'll love it.
And then? One day. Somehow. It'll happen. Maybe I'll slip up, she spots something, or... maybe she just starts running her mouth. And then, I'll do it.
(pauses) It's gonna be sweet. (amused huff)

(sighs)
Ahh. My darling wife.

Recording 5/9 Transcript

I know what you're thinking. Evil Twin. Supernatural Powers. But most of the time, I just like to keep things basic. I want you to understand that.

/turns the recorder away/
[weapons are neatly laid out:
gardening shears, ??, ?? straight razor, switch blade, ice pick, hatchet, knife in a leather sheath, kitchen knife, battery operated drill, hammer, hand gun, pliers, duct tape, hand saw, new roll of duct tape]
/picks up a hammer/
Like this. Need to get your hands dirty? No batteries, no moving parts. Just physics. That's technology you can depend on. It's a classic.

Speaking of classics!
/picks up a straight razor/
You need to be careful with this one, though. If the victim suddenly twists, you might end up cutting yourself. It's not really a work horse, but... I'm a sucker for the style.

Now this is more like it.
/picks up a switch blade, flicking it open/
You've got slip-resistant grip. Believe me, you really want that traction once you're wrist-deep in somebody. The blade's stiff enough so it won't open by accident in your pocket but it's still really easy to open with just one hand. Now that's a big thing for me.

(almost chiding tone)
I know what you're thinking.
/picks up a combat knife/
It's too big! Too heavy. But sometimes you just need the extra... oomph. If you're talking intimidation, this... is gonna do the job. Also great for dismemberings and whatnot, you know. The messy jobs.

(revelating noise)
Ahh!
/picks up a mostly-used roll of duct tape/
I can't tell you how many things I've McGuyvered with this stuff.

Okay.
/motions to the gun but does not pick it up/
Now, guns. Not a big fan. I mean, how are you supposed to really connect with somebody with a bullet?

/turns the recorder back to himself/
I want you to understand that. I take pride in what I do. We can't both be worthless hacks can we?

Recording 4/9 Transcript

(An episode of Night Springs is starting in the background)
(Mr. Scratch is speaking in an excited, hushed voice)
Okay. So this chick just came up to me and said she's my biggest fan. (hushed laughing tone) I know! They all say that, right?! And she's giving me the eye so I make a couple of moves, we have a couple of drinks and then things start happening. (hushed laughing tone) But I say I have to go to the bathroom first. Uh-oh! Right?? (quiet laugh) She's got no idea! Watch this! This is gonna be priceless! (quiet laugh)

(shift of fabric)
(scuff of feet walking away from recorder)
(Mr. Scratch moans)
(young woman moans)

(Woman) Mm, that's nice.
(Mr. Scratch) I thought you'd like that. ... Are you tense? You feel a little tense.
(Woman) Maybe a little. I had a crappy day.
(Mr. Scratch) Yeah?
(Woman) Don't worry, it's improving real fast.
(Mr. Scratch) (agreeing, laughing) Yeah!
(soft sound of scraping metal)
(Woman) Hey, don't stop, it was just getting good.

(Mr. Scratch whispers)
Watch this!

(fleshy, visceral noise like wet meat being cut open)
(muted screaming on the TV)
(choking/gurgling noise)
(Mr. Scratch imitates the gurgling noises, then starts laughing)
YEAHH!!! Did you see that?! OH MAN. Did you see her?! BOOOM! heh heh heh.
[Night Springs is narrating: It's imagination, more than anything else, that sets us apart from animals. It's in our nature to imagine, to turn fantasies into legends. To be storytellers, but on a rare occasion, the line between fact and fiction, imagination and reality, becomes hopelessly blurred and no where as vividly as in... Night Springs.]
(laughs again, sighs between laughs)
(sighs and pants, sighs in satisfaction)
(Mr. Scratch falls silent as Night Springs continues and ends its narration.)

Recording 3/9 Transcript

(there's music playing- Poets of the Fall - Happy Song.)
(I told you I'm a psycho. Really, I'm a psycho)
(Mr. Scratch is vocalizing a percussive beat along with the song)
(Mr. Scratch trills, laughs as the song continues)

(strained cough, low groan, soft grunts of pained exertion)
(clatter)
(Mr. Scratch resumes his percussive vocalizing, laughing)

/feed ends./

Recording 2/9 Transcript

(faint noises of a party in the background)
Heeey buddy! I figured I'd take a moment to talk to ya. There's a party next door. I'm feeling pretty good right now! A little beer, a little fun, you know. It's... nice!
Listen, this whole thing between us. It's a little weird for me too, you know? I mean, we don't just look the same, there's a lot we share. I mean, up here. I know you, right? So I was thinking maybe would could-(odd, low electrical hum)

(the people in the party get louder, but it's still muffled)
(soft scuff of footsteps away from the recorder, a pause, and then they come closer again)
(sigh/scoff) These guys are getting out of control.
(just the noise of the party)

Look (sigh) I feel like we're both victims of circumstance here and maybe we could make some kind of effort t-(faint pounding on the wall)
(the party gets even louder, people are whistling and cheering)
(silence except for the party, then soft footsteps and a loud clattering, a soft telephone chime)
(only the party can be heard for a long moment)
Nevermind.

(a door opens a shut, the party continues in the background)
(after a few moments, there's muffled knocking on a door that sounds further down)
(a loud grunt, a brief struggle, and the sound of something heavy hits the floor)
(the noises of the party turns to screaming)
(Mr. Scratch laughs in delight)
(noises of struggle, a male groaning, blows connecting)

/feed ends./

Recording 1/9 Transcript

Is this on? (protesting muffled noises)
How can you tell? (background hyperventilating)
I'm sorry, I'm not very good with gadgets. (muffled sobs, soft sounds of recorder being moved)
Ahhh! THAT'S more like it!

(the sound of moving away from the recorder)
(panicked noises of fear, struggling)
I'll be right with you. I've just gotta do this one thing.
(panicked, muffled noises of fear and protest)
(sharp noise of cloth, the panicked noises increase)
I like it quiet.
(the muffled noises quiet, but there's heavy breathing instead)

I'm bet you're wondering why this happening. Why am I doing all this, why am I so hell-bent on ruining your life? (sigh) You're cramping my style. You've got money, fame, everything you could want but you don't know what to do with it! I do! I'm getting all the things you never had the balls to go for. Having more fun, too! (small laugh)

(muffled sob)
Do you know the real difference between us? I'm not afraid to be the center of attention!

(muffled groans of protest)
This poor slob's just collateral damage, really. I mean, I beat some information out of him earlier. But this part?
(moving away from the recorder again, there's a startled noise and more protesting grunts)
This is just for kicks.

(grunt of exertion on Mr. Scratch's behalf, frantic struggling and grunts from the other person while Mr. Scratch chuckles. This goes on until there's the sound of something heavy toppling)
(silence)
(soft footsteps, shift of fabric, near the recorder again)
Mmmmmmm. So quiet.